Overheard at the Airport

PWM to Detroit

Caitlin — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 02:21:25 +0000

Small boy, as plane lands: “We’re going down! We’re going down!”

Mother: “BRENDAN! That is NOT a good thing to say on an airplane!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Small boy, waiting to deplane: “:SIGH: Well then, WHAT GATE are we going to?”

Mother: “Well, we’re leaving you at the Lost and Found, so…”

PWM

Caitlin — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 02:18:06 +0000

Gate agent, to a man with crutches: “Sir, do you need a wheelchair?”

Man with crutches: “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Gate agent: “Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”

Man with crutches: “No thank you, I’m fine.”

Gate agent: “Okay…well, good luck with your leg!”

Man with crutches: “…Thanks.”

CLT – Word Choice Fail

Caitlin — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:44:42 +0000

Man, as he reaches behind me for the second time to unplug his computer: Sorry, I didn’t mean to violate you again.

SEEN at the airport – BOS

Caitlin — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:07:37 +0000

Background: There’s a passageway between the A, B, and C terminals at Logan International Airport that has a “seascape” theme. In accordance with said theme, there are many vaguely-shaped fish, divers, squid, etc. made of colored glass embedded in the floor. As I was going on my merry way one day I noticed the following “squid,” which leads me to believe that whoever designed this lovely “seascape” got a little bored and decided to delve deep into some latent, possibly Freudian issues within his wounded, wounded psyche.

All that comes to mind is…REALLY, Logan?

CLE

Caitlin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:41:02 +0000

Man 1: Maybe I’ll add in the email, ‘It’s our one-week anniversary!’

Man 2: Yeah, you should send her a mammogram. CANDY GRAM! I meant candy gram!

CLE to PHL

Caitlin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:03:02 +0000

Woman #1: I can read Portuguese, since I know Spanish. But READING Portuguese is different from UNDERSTANDING Portuguese.

Woman #2: Yeah. Portuguese is Spanish with a stroke.

LGA

Caitlin — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:51:31 +0000

Woman on phone: “Oh, hi honey…no, I’m not sober.”

CLE to IAD

Caitlin — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:45:18 +0000

Setup: This absurdly creepy man sat next to me on a plane and was telling me about his “girlfriend” from Kiev that he met online and was going to visit. This is merely a sample of the nuggets of pleasantness that came from this man’s mouth.

————————————-

Creepy Guy Named Rex: My mother passed away a month ago. I see how my dad is now, and I really don’t ever want to be alone like that.

Me, Pressed Against the Wall of the Airplane in Sheer Terror: Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.

CGNR: Oh it’s okay. It was actually a freak accident. She fell down the last four stairs in the basement, hit her head, and drowned in a pool of her own blood.

————————————-

CGNR: So the first time I met my girlfriend in person, we got to the hotel and there were two twin beds…so we [pantomimes moving the beds together]. Then in the morning, I notice that she puts on the SAME underwear as the day before. Then the next day, she puts on the SAME pair of underwear. I asked her how many pairs she has, and she says “two.” So I went out and bought her a week’s worth of underwear, and said that American girls change their underwear up to four times a day!

————————————–

CGNR: I stopped dating American two years ago.

EWR

Caitlin — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:42:12 +0000

Continental gate agent, to computer: You know what? THIS IS BULLSHIT!

PWM

Caitlin — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:10:48 +0000

Not really a quote, but airport-relevant.

In a Snapple cap: “Dolphins sleep with one eye open.”

THEY BETTER.