Overheard at the Airport

PWM to Detroit

February 21, 2010
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Small boy, as plane lands: “We’re going down!  We’re going down!”

Mother: “BRENDAN!  That is NOT a good thing to say on an airplane!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Small boy, waiting to deplane: “:SIGH: Well then, WHAT GATE are we going to?”

Mother: “Well, we’re leaving you at the Lost and Found, so…”


Posted in Portland

PWM

February 21, 2010
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Gate agent, to a man with crutches: “Sir, do you need a wheelchair?”

Man with crutches: “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Gate agent: “Are you sure?  It’s really no problem.”

Man with crutches: “No thank you, I’m fine.”

Gate agent: “Okay…well, good luck with your leg!”

Man with crutches: “…Thanks.”


Posted in Portland

CLT – Word Choice Fail

January 15, 2010
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Man, as he reaches behind me for the second time to unplug his computer: Sorry, I didn’t mean to violate you again.


SEEN at the airport – BOS

December 17, 2009
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Background: There’s a passageway between the A, B, and C terminals at Logan International Airport that has a “seascape” theme.  In accordance with said theme, there are many vaguely-shaped fish, divers, squid, etc. made of colored glass embedded in the floor.  As I was going on my merry way one day I noticed the following “squid,” which leads me to believe that whoever designed this lovely “seascape” got a little bored and decided to delve deep into some latent, possibly Freudian issues within his wounded, wounded psyche.

 

All that comes to mind is…REALLY, Logan?


Posted in Uncategorized

CLE

December 9, 2009
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Man 1: Maybe I’ll add in the email, ‘It’s our one-week anniversary!’

Man 2: Yeah, you should send her a mammogram.  CANDY GRAM!  I meant candy gram!


Posted in Uncategorized

CLE to PHL

November 20, 2009
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Woman #1: I can read Portuguese, since I know Spanish.  But READING Portuguese is different from UNDERSTANDING Portuguese.

Woman #2: Yeah.  Portuguese is Spanish with a stroke.


Posted in Cleveland

LGA

October 22, 2009
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Woman on phone: “Oh, hi honey…no, I’m not sober.”


CLE to IAD

October 9, 2009
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Setup: This absurdly creepy man sat next to me on a plane and was telling me about his “girlfriend” from Kiev that he met online and was going to visit.  This is merely a sample of the nuggets of pleasantness that came from this man’s mouth.

————————————-

Creepy Guy Named Rex:  My mother passed away a month ago.  I see how my dad is now, and I really don’t ever want to be alone like that.

Me, Pressed Against the Wall of the Airplane in Sheer Terror: Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.

CGNR: Oh it’s okay.  It was actually a freak accident.  She fell down the last four stairs in the basement, hit her head, and drowned in a pool of her own blood.

————————————-

CGNR:  So the first time I met my girlfriend in person, we got to the hotel and there were two twin beds…so we [pantomimes moving the beds together].  Then in the morning, I notice that she puts on the SAME underwear as the day before.  Then the next day, she puts on the SAME pair of underwear.  I asked her how many pairs she has, and she says “two.”  So I went out and bought her a week’s worth of underwear, and said that American girls change their underwear up to four times a day!

————————————–

CGNR: I stopped dating American two years ago.


EWR

September 24, 2009
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Continental gate agent, to computer: You know what? THIS IS BULLSHIT!


PWM

September 20, 2009
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Not really a quote, but airport-relevant.

In a Snapple cap: “Dolphins sleep with one eye open.”

THEY BETTER.


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    This blog is devoted to all the glorious people who grace our presence in the airport, and who amuse us in times of great air travel frustration. Please email submissions to PrettyYouMayBe [at] gmail [dot] com.

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